Ticking.

My clock is ticking and I have no more time to loose and no more to gain.  I keep pondering over the same messages and doings as I always do, only to find myself back to first base. 

My clock is ticking, and I have no more time to loose and no more to gain.  I am in need of your trust, and your faith that it is coming.  Whether or not you believe me, let I be the example that speaks. 

My time is coming, and I have no more time to loose and no more to gain..

July 2012

-And it is almost here.  I have been working on this project for almost a month now.  It is taking much longer than I have anticipated.  Nonetheless, I know it will be worth the work and effort I have been putting into it.  I just hope, that my effort will be appreciated for what it is worth.

Everything has almost been becoming a drag, so it seems.  I'm definitely hanging in there these past couple of days.  I haven't been feeling the need to socialize, or having any type of social life at all.  It's not that I'm pushing everything else aside, or away..  I'm just not up for it right now.  What a shame, it's summer..

I have less than a month to plan now.  Let's see how this comes about.  Let me be happy doing what I do best.. -or is it..

Summer 2012 CheckList

[ X ]  Finish a Korean Drama
[  ]  Teach Noelle how to play volleyball
[ X  ]  Color my wardrobe
[  X ]  Save money to/and get my IS
[  X ]  Finish a book Series
[  ]

-Last Update; Sunday; Sept30th2012

my dear, Dear Friend.

The truth of the matter is, -is that it happened.  It had never occured to me of the campabilities of it all.  I never wanted to see what happened.  No one, no one, should have have to experience the things you did.  I can not imagine, I can  not compare, words can not describe, the challeneges you have gone through.  Its hard to say, that we, -I have to face the fact that it really did happen. 

Truth is, I never thought this could have happened.  My dear, Dear Friend, how things are not the same without you.  We are still too young.  Life is just starting to bloom at twenty-one..  Love was never there, and we have not found Love.  We were suppose to find it together, and make this life worthwhile.  Truth is, I will miss you.  I will miss you my dear, Dear Friend.

To whom it may concern:
-Your sense of ignorance, and egoism, will rot with you til the day you leave this place.  I dispise you, never can I find it in me to forgive you for the things you have done.  Regardless of the pittiness you crave, or the sympathy you try to give..  I will look upon your face with no mercy, at which you brought this upon yourself.  Better yet, I will give you the good in me, and tell you; take this as a lesson you selfish bastard.  Live each day like its your last knowing you took someone's breath away.  Live with the maddness and uncontrolable guilt inside your guts until it eats you alive.

Who am I to Believe...

It has been days, since I have last heard Thee's voice.  Thee told me, of the things that I should know.  Regret, was not an option to Thee.  Thee wanted to tell me, of the things that I should know...  That I should know.  It was nothing but a blurry memory, a night in which an opportunity came across..  Thee felt it was better to tell me whether or not it mattered, or not, -just so Thee will never regret ever again.  -A mistake once learned.  Thee left me ponder for days, trying to figure out exactly what Thee's words that was meant for me, -and only me.  -And if I am correct, Thee spoke of this 'Love,' feelings and sense of affection.  Oh, the childhood memories when Thee first laid Thee's eyes on me, the ongoing sequence, and patterns of seeing another.  We now question, it was coincidence, or just by Luck.  "It was a long, biggest crush, you just dont know.." I remember Thee's words..  It was the poison words I continuously wished never to speak...  Who am Ii now to believe?  The Thee was speaking of the truth, or Thee is the person Thee is today, playing Thee's game...  Who am I, Who am I to believe of Thee...  -It has been days, since I have heard Thee's voice.  Thee told me of things that I should know.  -Regret, was not an option to Thee...

Hello September

Its going to be a new start for me.  I know ive struggled to keep my chapters from going, but Im making another chapter in my life.  Like what? Theres a bunch of books and series with short, and long chapters too right?  So who am I really kidding here?  Not I, I know that.  Nonetheless, yesterday was my big coming back Sia Alexis Yang.  Lets admit it, it has been century since I have felt this love burning inside of me, and the troubles that is only trying to rise up because it wants to seem me fail and become less of what I should be or nothing at all.  Im glad, Im glad I never lost the game nor did I fall.  HA to you the idiot who tried to pull me down.  -But thank you!

Lets play catchup with mix thoughts and emotions;
Hey sis, I continue to miss you.  I have thought a lot about you recently.  Maybe its because your presence is with me as the days go by.  Or maybe, youre just tugging at me telling me what I should and should not do.  I dont know?... But whatever it is, Im just glad that Im feeling this way because I miss you so..

I never knew such 'glory' can ever result from such an devastating beginning.  Im glad I will never regret what it is that I have done almost two months ago...  Im glad, that I at least did all that I could.  Im happy.. Just know that now that youre gone.

I have never kept my distance from you.  I have always been here watching over you until you come back around and realize all of what the world has poisoned you with.  Just now, that no matter what, I will always be here when you need me.  Things have and will never change between you and I.  I love you more than you can ever imagine.  Just dont you ever hold that thought in your mind that I will hold you accountable for what you have done because I have forgiven you in the first place.  Just, just know,.. that "things have never changed.  It is just up the other person who feels that 'yes things have changed,' when really, it never has.."
-Just remember, what I have shared with you.  I love you.

Sept8th,2011

I know you see a little bit of me, -in every girl....