It is very unlikely for me to be acting this way. I am, I am..
-Very few knows me. But majority knows of me. I am, -I am, not what others will say. I am not special, I am not like the rest, I am not similair, I am no different, I am -me. I am, I am -Sia.
Over the past few months, I have been showered with love and blessings from every corner. I am, I feel I was, the happiest girl ever. I am, what I feel, the most successful I have ever been... I have achieved what I thought I will never have. I have done things, not most early twenty-years young will have done nor achieve. I am, proud of the things I have, and things I do not have. I am, I feel, I was, the happiest girl ever.
Over the past few days, I have been showered with blessings. Blessings to remind me, that all of the above do not matter. Because what really matters is that I am here. That this is the moment. The moment in which life still goes on -with or without the glorious things I have had.
It has been difficult for me to understand such things. I have been filled with so much anger, so much sadness, sorrow -oh how poetic it seems. But my frustrations of 'how can this be' still grows and lingers in the back of my mind. I cannot fathom enough of 'how can this be,' 'what have I done to deserve this?,'.. But when truthfully, this is just to show me the brighter side of life itself. Although the glass seems to be thicker than before, I am going to pound on this glass until I am free of myself. Free of this frustration. Free of being this -person that I am, that I am..
I cannot dwell on the past, -all the hardworkings of my work. I cannot keep going on that I have disciplined myself to get to where I once was. I cannot keep going on that I did not grow up like the rest. I cannot keep going that I did not have what others have. I cannot keep going on that because of these that I did not have, I have what I have today.
Truthfully, I am blinded by the joy of the past week and a half. A shadow has cast its way over me and beyond.
I know I should feel bless. I should be thankful. I should not look at any of "this" the way I am. I am, dwelling in the past of a week and a half ago. I am, waiting for the storm to break free beyond these eyes. I am waiting, to cry my heart out that I am hurt so much. Pain, strikes through each and everyday. -Reminding me that I am the way I am, because of a week and a half ago. I am, loosing myself -crazy, unorganized, unable to do my regular routine, unable to think, lingering -lingering over a week and a half ago.
It was just yesterday ago, that I was showered with love and blessings. But today, I am showered with more love and blessings than ever.
Break free from this maddness. Shine Your light to this overcasting shadow. -Im coming your way...
[DespirationBand-ImComingYourWay]
