RE-cap

For the past few weeks, I have been in major denial of Depression and Stress.  Now, I think I have hit rock-bottom, and realizing that yes, maybe I am depress and stress.  This  is so uncool...

I have been worrying too much about school, life, relationships, and trying to figure everything else out.  Unfortantely, this is what it has come down to.  I am depressed.  I am stressed. 

As much as I hate to admit that I am not the strong woman I am, I'm not.  And I suppose, that is my greatest weakness.  Just like a super hero's weakness is Love.  I am starting to believe that I do not have 'Love'.  Or better yet,  I do, that I learned to 'Love' myself first.  -Sighs*

I am not saying that I grew to this stage out of the fact that I am in a personal relationship and such.  But lately, I have been drawn to; want to feel commited too, or the target to be pursue.  -But it is not.  I am feeling weary of chasing and pursuing others before me..  -And I think I am going to stop here.  I am starting to not understand the whole point of being in a relationship -"once again".  I hate it.  I hate it so much..  Why?  Because I am on the verge and ready to be commited, and not have to worry about anything else, or hearing the little voice inside my head asking me question if "HE" is the one?  I am sick and tired of it.  So sick and tired.

When I was little, I told myself that my significant other and I were to be together, for the betterment of eachother.  -But unfortantely, this relationship is gragging me down with it.  Because I am now seeing that it's not just not working out, but it also takes the right time.  But, this relationship of mine, is coming to an expiration date, and I am tired of the sourness its becoming.  It needs sweetner, but it's only getting artificial sweetner.  I need 110% effort into it.  Not just an artificial act of effort. 

There, you have it.