In Every Ounce of Me...

I'm starting to give it up...
I don't even know how I became so determine in the first place..  I thought I got it right?  I thought, that maybe if I became so on top of things, then maybe things will get better as the days go by.  That everything will fall into place because I am way ahead of myself to let anything fail?  But who am I to say? 

I have been pushing myself harder and harder each and every day, -for the same reasons.  But what happend now?  All my pushing and striving, only brought me 'the same thing even if I wasn't trying so hard'.  Sighs.  I am slowly, giving it all up.  I'm starting to see no point in trying harder to succeed.  I'm sitting here, still trying to push harder, but the only thing that is going around in my head are the questions to 'how did this happen in the first place?' 'where have I gone wrong?' 'what did I do?' 'WHAT DO I NEED TO DO?'.  -You tell me...

All my planning and finishing up early, brought me to the same spot as if everything was just done yesterday?  Maybe, 'failure' is embedded into me?  I don't know, I dont know...  -All I know, is that I'm starting to feel that Everything I have done, was absolutely..... -Pointless.

Pointless.